Scrolls of Introspection

press to zoom

press to zoom

press to zoom

press to zoom
1/10

2022
Arad, Israel

Site-specific Installation

In my studio I usually work with a regular routine. Getting up in the morning, painting and drawing for a few hours, just for fun. And yet, there are moments when I need to process deep emotions of the kind that don’t allow me to concentrate on anything other than what I am experiencing but not digesting. Such a situation requires a different kind of approach in my artistic process and that's when I started using long paper scrolls to unleash my emotional burden.
In such "charged" situations, I would sit for hours and intensively vent all the anger, frustration, confusion, sadness and in short everything I felt uncomfortable with onto the paper. It was a great way to process my emotions and at the same time document them and thus leave a record of the existential state I experienced. I decided to call this work "scrolls of introspection".
Over time, a considerable amount of scrolls accumulated in my studio and I decided to take them with me to the desert. I knew that this would be the place for them. In fact, they have never been fully revealed, neither to me nor to the world. Some of the scrolls were even 40 meter long! In the studio I did not have the space (physical or mental) to spread them out. 
The specific place I had in mind , a crevice between cliffs, was where I felt I should make my installation and indeed I found the perfect and high enough point that I could deploy, or rather roll down, the scrolls. Indeed, where a stream once flowed, there was probably a waterfall. While I was rolling them down, I was confronted not only with my own compressed pain, but also with the forces of nature - the scorching sun and the winds gusts. With each roll spread out, the wind pounded at full force and tossed the rolls I had worked so hard to arrange with stones on the cliff. It was very frustrating, climbing up and down the cliffs while struggling with the wind. The scrolls were so charged and energetically compressed that once they were “opened up” to the world for the first time they startled me too. In fact, the wind only ventilated them and reminded me how much mental strength they contain. From there I was also motivated not to give up and I continued with my mission in spite of everything.
At one point the winds calmed down. All the scrolls were spread out on the cliff. At that moment I could breathe a sigh of relief. The scrolls were finally given their place, an opportunity to be properly displayed, to be ventilated in the process and thus emptied of the compressed cargo that was inside them.
Even though I was the only witness to this performative move, it was enough. I felt satisfied with myself that I had managed, with the help of the desert, to neutralize my "scrolls of introspection". It was an inner initiation that ended and I felt free from the burden and pain I left there.